“Ugh! I need a vacation!” You say to yourself and it’s only Tuesday. The summer is coming to a close, the days are getting shorter, and each night is more hectic than the last. Already you need a vacation and the school year hasn’t even begun! Better yet, after being with the kids all summer you could probably use a vacation from them?! And you are right! You do need a vacation; travel as an all adult. How great would it be to travel, just you and your significant other or a friend? When was the last time you did such a thing?
We All Need A Place to Break
Six years ago this fall I was officially divorced from my husband of 8 years. I was still so young and had spent so much of my early adult years trying to calm the waters of an unstable home. When we parted, I received full custody of those beautiful boys. He was unfit and needed help before he could watch them alone again. That meant it was just me, myself, and I. When the boys and I moved out on our own, it was quite an adjustment.
Such a bittersweet time for me. I had to learn to trust myself, and trust my decisions. And I also had to learn that sometimes I needed time away. So that summer I took my first solo vacation. It was only for a few days, but I hopped on a plane and went somewhere all alone. So much had happened in a short time, I not only needed time to process it all, but I needed time to relax and process.
Over the years that solo vacation became an all adult vacation. I promised myself after the first summer, that I would take a few days each year where I would step away with myself, some friends, or my significant other. I love being a mother, but I also need to love myself. One of the ways I found to do that was to deliberately put some time aside for myself, and my significant other.
I Vacation Because:
It Makes Me a Better Person
As humans we are social creatures. We like to be around other people. But our minds are built to process emotions, and situations during times of reflection. We need time alone to unwind, and de-stress. It’s in those moments that we are forced to look into our souls and face those deep fears, subconscious stressors, or triggers. It forces me to take time to reflect and meditate on life, my kids, and my goals. It is in those times that I can step away from all of the day-to-day noise and become re-grounded. This vacation and travel time makes me more even keel and a better, calmer person.
Traveling Apart from My Kids Makes them Stronger
On the flip side it gives my kids time apart from me. Time to start to become slightly more independent. Trust me this is a life long lesson, and not one they will learn quickly. But in short periods, it gives them a vacation from their awful mom with all the rules!
Additionally, in these times they have been able to create an unbreakable bond with their grandparents. I have incredible parents. Who, during these times, have so graciously welcomed my kids into their home. I am so grateful for that! They have so much love and wisdom to share, and I believe our children crave that time with their elders and benefit it more ways than I have time to write about here. This is a relationship that my children cherish, and one that I didn’t have with my grandparents. So I am so glad they are able to experience that for themselves.
Adult Vacations; Travel that Makes our Love Stronger
All too often we get caught up in the day-to-day trials of life and forget to really see our partners. We get side tracked with our kids sports, and homework. We get stressed with bills or home repairs that we take advantage of the people who are closest to us. After spending years on the receiving end of that wrath, I swore I would try my hardest to not treat my partner like that. I won’t lie and say it’s always easy. Sometimes it’s a conscious effort, but it is so crucial to a relationship. But one of the things that reaffirms our choice to be together and why we got together in the first place, is stealing those moments alone together. Adult vacation; traveling without our kids, or even just taking an extended data night gives us that opportunity.
Go Ahead, Take That Adult Vacation!!
So next time you and your friends or your significant other are thinking you need some quiet alone time without the children. And you start to doubt yourself and think that you are being selfish for not wanting to take them. Know that is isn’t that you don’t want to spend time with your children. It’s that you and your spouse are a united front. And just as your kids need one on one time with you, so does your spouse. In order to keep your love, your bond strong, you need time for it to grow. And your children need time that time away from you to learn and grow without their parents.